英文簡歷中不該出現話
致命的大錯：
“Finished8thinmyhighschoolgraduatingclassof10.”
“Qualifications:Noeducationorexperience.”
“Iamrelativelyintelligent,obedientandloyalasapuppy.”
“Mycompensationshouldbeatleastequaltomyage.”
“ReasonforLeaving:IthadtodowiththeIRS,FBIandSEC.”
“FiredbecauseIfoughtforlowerpay.”
“Sizeofemployer:Verytall,probablyover6'5”
“Pleasedisregardtheenclosedresume-itisterriblyoutofdate.”
“ReasonforLeaving:Mybosssaidtheendoftheworldisnear.”
“ReasonforLeaving:Theownergavenewmeaningtotheword'paranoia.'Iprefertoelaborateprivately.”
打字錯誤與語法錯誤：
“Herearemyqualificationsforyoutooverlook.”
“Strengths:Abilitytomeetdeadlineswhilemaintainingcomposer.”
“Iamarabidtypist.”
“WorkHistory:Performedbrainwavetests,1879-1981.”
“Afterreceivingadvicefromseveraldifferentangels,Ihavedecidedtopursueanewlineofwork.”
“Accountingcleric.”
“Asindicted,Ihaveoverfiveyearsofexperienceanalyzinginvestments.”
“Suspectedtograduateearlynextyear.”
“Disposedof$2.5billioninassets.”
“Provenabilitytotrackdownandcorrecterors.”
“Accomplishments:Oversightofentiredepartment.”
“Amaperfectionistandrarelyififeverforgetdetails.”
“Accomplishments:Completed11yearsofhighschool.”
不應有的幽默：
“Note:Keepthisresumeontopofthestack.Useallotherstoheatyourhouse.”
“Assistedindailypreparationoflargequantitiesofconsumableitemsinafast-pacedsetting.”(Translation:Short-ordercook.)
“Butwait...there'smore.Yougetallthisbusinessknowledgeplusagraspofmarketingthatissecondnature.”
“Ihaveanexcellenttrackrecord,althoughIamnotahorse.”
“Myfortunecookiesaid,'Yournextinterviewwillresultinajob'-andIlikeyourcompanyinparticular.”
“Title:Anotherresumefromthe'ProfilesinExcellence'series.”
“AlsoKnownAs:Mr.Productivity,Mr.Clever,Mr.Fix-it.”
“Trustworthyreferencesavailableuponrequest-ifIgivethemafewbucks.”
“Let'smeetsoyoucan'ooh'and'ahh'overmyexperience.”
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